Unwritten

Fox river in the suburbs of chicago.

Hello everyone!!

HRD!

Yes indeed, HRD everyone… its been a long couple of months here. I find the desire to post is still strong! but the time given to me to do so is so limited :( I often wonder why i can help design (and practically execute) a website for Fanime in a day or two, but i still can redesign this site in 2 years… I think i’m just afraid of CSS! hahaha, i suck at it majorly.. seriously.

Anyways, the latest event has been Mantha’s 25th birthday ball extravaganza! It was great hanging out with so many old friends, showing off Ashley to the family, and just having a good time celebrating the life of Mantha. :) Mantha’s events always seem to have a way of “opening” people’s eyes and spurning events and ideas which spread on past our own lives. Hahaha, the things i learned and experienced this weekend will be with me for a long long time.

This weekend also showed me how much i do miss my life back in Davis (and at the same time, DONT miss it.. hahaha) In general, i miss the friends… the random evenings just chilling and talking and yes… gossiping! I miss heading out to Denny’s in big groups and sharing stories so hard to believe that it borders on a fantasy. I miss having so much fun that we forget what time it is. While its not necessarily totally lost to me, and i do still have some of these experiences- its some of the general players- Dave, Steve, James, Kalen, Clarissa… that i miss the most.

Ah well… it shows me that *I* need to make more of an effort to keep in touch- something i hope i can accomplish :) There are many other people who have moved to the fringes of my radar that i hope to draw back in to the center.

Anyways… back to school work-

Back to “redesigning” this blog… Perhaps i should stop trying to think so grandly, and bring it back to something clean and simple.

X-posted LJ, Blogger

Hello everyone!!

HRD!

Yes indeed, HRD everyone… its been a long couple of months here. I find the desire to post is still strong! but the time given to me to do so is so limited :( I often wonder why i can help design (and practically execute) a website for Fanime in a day or two, but i still can redesign this site in 2 years… I think i’m just afraid of CSS! hahaha, i suck at it majorly.. seriously.

Anyways, the latest event has been Mantha’s 25th birthday ball extravaganza! It was great hanging out with so many old friends, showing off Ashley to the family, and just having a good time celebrating the life of Mantha. :) Mantha’s events always seem to have a way of “opening” people’s eyes and spurning events and ideas which spread on past our own lives. Hahaha, the things i learned and experienced this weekend will be with me for a long long time.

This weekend also showed me how much i do miss my life back in Davis (and at the same time, DONT miss it.. hahaha) In general, i miss the friends… the random evenings just chilling and talking and yes… gossiping! I miss heading out to Denny’s in big groups and sharing stories so hard to believe that it borders on a fantasy. I miss having so much fun that we forget what time it is. While its not necessarily totally lost to me, and i do still have some of these experiences- its some of the general players- Dave, Steve, James, Kalen, Clarissa… that i miss the most.

Ah well… it shows me that *I* need to make more of an effort to keep in touch- something i hope i can accomplish :) There are many other people who have moved to the fringes of my radar that i hope to draw back in to the center.

Anyways… back to school work-

Back to “redesigning” this blog… Perhaps i should stop trying to think so grandly, and bring it back to something clean and simple.

X-posted LJ, Blogger

I’m stealing this from Lele who stole it from someone else; but i couldnt find the original so i’m gonna second tier nab it :) There is just something about it that, as Lele says, “Is sweet and strikes a chord”

“I spend 23 hours a day thinking how wrong we are for each other and of reasons why we shouldn’t be together but in the 24th hour a realize I’ve been thinking about her for those 23 hours. There’s just something about her. Something that makes me love her.”

It might not apply exactly to many people’s lives, namely mine; but it all centered around the same thing; trying to put into words something that is inexplainable. The natual human tendancy to try to find logic in the most illogical of emotions, “Love”.

In this case; i feel for the author of these lines… i definately know what it feels like.

Already this journal is more open than my “normal” blog. I think the lack of people who read it, or even know of its existence is a key point in there. nobody i see face to face on a daily basis has found it, so i’m remain unafraid.

Im so fuckin moody today. Tired and exhausted both physically and emotionally. I trace my moodiness to crossroads in my life. This crossroad: I feel some of my dreams slipping away and i’ve come to another point where i must decide to let it go, or consciously fix my grip and hold on for dear life.

I’m gonna hold on; and the decision is exhausting as well as taxing on my reserve energy. I choose my dreams, i refuse to let this one slip away so easily.

But now, thats not the only fantasy in my life. how i feel about her is already set, its a known fact of my life today. What remains unknown is what will become of that dream. Along side that is you..

I like you, do you even know it? I dont know exactly why; but its an exciting and draining feeling to be ‘crushin’ I really have no good solid reasons why, but what does it matter; I was captivated the moment i first looked into your eyes. So full of life and hidden mystery… I long to get lost in the deep sea of your eyes.

Ha, will i ever say anything? not anytime soon. Life situations have fated that nothing could really happen in the near future. Do i want to speak up? Acutally yes; but maybe i’m just afraid.. or unprepared for the repercussions of those words. I’m not ready to hurt, or be hurt… at least not in this situation.

So i’ll continue to dream a little, and keep everything as it is right now. A little ray of sunshine on a sometimes dreary day. Things are good as they are :)