Open Wounds

I think its strange how much of a pack rat i am.. i toss out some things and keep others. I am also such a paranoid freak when it comes to my computer data- so things that i thought were long gone seem to rear up again when i least expect it to.

Today i was lost in thought; trying to recover a batch of photos from a recovered data packet; i had lost a hard drive a while back and this was all i could get back out of it; 120k worth of “photos” which ranged from real images to random PNG’s that were part of programs. Its a mess and it will take me quite some time to go through it all.

After some time, i switched it up and tried to recover some of the info from my old CD/DVD burns of my computers; i figure there’s got to be quite a few of them still sitting around. After copying disc after disc of data, i started going through it.

I found some word docs, Old ones- ancient really;

I cried.

They were written by someone i cared about, someone i still care about; I hurt her really badly and that black point in my life still seems to haunt me. Even as i look upon some of the happiest days of my life, and the bright sunshiny future ahead of me, i know it was built upon some pitch black nights. Some days i think i put all that past me . . . some days i’m not so sure.

How sorry do i need to be, and how much do i need to do before i feel i can forgive myself?