Unwritten

I miss my cat :(

I was able to visit my cat recently and it seems a little harder and harder to leave him back in Davis every time. Its funny to think that when he started coming around, i wasnt all that interested in him (he seemed more interested in Matt and Jill, my housemates at the time).

But like the little black shadow he is, he snuck into my life and remains a pretty big part of it. Sadly, age is starting to get to him, and it makes me sad every time Antonio calls to tell me that he lost another fight, and he just seems lethargic.

Boo :( hopefully things will change.

Finals tomorrow, 2 major projects that i thought were all set to go; but of course things never work out like they want them to. The alignment on my playing cards is all fucked up . . . i think its the printer *sigh*

Anyways, the new job is pretty fun! time seems to fly; which goes to show that i must be enjoying it. Its pretty challenging, but i have a lot to learn and my co-workers are really fun. Working has changed my mindset again, for a little while after i began, i spent a lot! haha.. but i was able to curb it before i went too hog wild. I like working, it gives me more of a sense of myself- even tho i dont think i will be getting the amazing scheduling that i was hoping i would.

I’m really looking forward to not going to school anymore. I know i still have the rest of this year (at least) before things will change; but working shows me what i have to look forward to when i’m done. Yeah, its not exactly my field; but i’m meeting new people and have a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day (most of the time)

Things always changing i suppose. The next couple of months will be bringing lots of challenges to conquer, like Fanime.. housing, etc. I still really miss my cat :/ poor guido.

Many people prolly dont realize, but one of the most frustrating things about myself is my lack of ability to draw. :( I’ve been drawing off and on for almost as long as i can remember, and my talent for drawing is severly lacking. It gets most frustrating when i see other people’s drawings :-P (even more so when i see how old some of these people are)

My imagination doesnt suffer from a lack of images, but i can never seem to get my ideas onto paper and draw them as i see them. Its probably one of the most disheartening experiences i have, and it happens almost every day.

There once was a time where i could keep myself company, where i could have fun with a cardboard box, some markers, and some tape. A time where i was a child, and my brother was still my keeper, and my sister was a little brat. A time i like to think i was happy, but even then i was not so sure.

(more…)

It’s like I’m paranoid lookin’ over my back
It’s like a whirlwind inside of my head
It’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within
It’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin.

I hate it when i think i’ve forgotten to close the garage door. I *know* that i closed it as i left, but still . . . there is this feeling like im not sure, that little nagging voice saying “are you sure?” which grows into “you stuff is probably being stolen right now, they are in your room, taking your shit” Gyah.

Its not just the garage door, its the car door, its many things. I can never really tell when the paranoia is gonna hit. Most of the days i walk away and never think again, then there are days like this . . .