Christmas Time is here and past…

Welp, i survived another christmas eve with the family. As many people probably thought, it wasnt as bad as it could have been. The evening started on a pretty sour note, and while that note carried through the entire night/morning; we were able to pull through.

In my discussions with Mantha tho, i discovered that perhaps why i seem to dislike Christmas with the family so much; is the possibility of “change” Christmas comes and with it brings the appearance of joy, togetherness, and family. However, in my experience the bubble seems to burst quite quickly. I find the year after year, the high ends with a huge crash- and my bitterness towards my family grows by leaps and bounds. I find i avoid some family interaction; just so that i can possibly hold onto whatever respect and tenderness i still have for the group as a whole (individually is another matter entirely…)

So it begins again, the evening was nice- and everyone (for the most part) had smiles and shared some laughter. Can this hope of real change in peoples minds hold clear? I know that i tend to change a lot with each passing experience with this family; maybe this time will be different? eh?