Countdown to…

Once again the countdown begins, another year is almost up in my life.. another year closer to whatever end there may be in store for me.

Its humbling to think about my life at this moment. Ten years ago, i was just about to start college, start off into a new “adult” life. 9 years later, i repeated the process, beginning school once again.. starting to find where i belonged in this world of “adults” and maturity. I still struggle with some of the most basic concepts… saving money! working hard for my own future.

I still just wonder, always thinking i need to live life for today. honestly, i didnt even think i would get this far in life- afraid i would have died by some strange disease, or just lost and forgotten in some dark corner of the world. My life plan never had me where i am now; 27, going on 28.. living in a small room in my friend’s house- struggling every day to just make sure i dont drown in debt- while trying to reach out for a career that i’m still afraid of. Pondering the day i will feel “independent” and a ” man” someone able to care for and clothe my future family.

Well heres to 8 or so days of reflection; my yearly ritual. At least since Rosina came around; i dont look so gloomily on the day i was born; but i still reflect on my place in the world.