“What is coming to the surface”

Ah.. well quickly; i decided to put off the design of the new layout. Well i have the layout sketched out, and i have most of the images for the design; but i havent had much time to do the actual photo manip and coding; ah well- 2 more weeks of school then ill have a bunch of free time to play around.

Currently im taking a ‘wonderful’ class called ‘Magic and Ritual’ which in of itself is a pretty interesting topic. Unfortunately the teacher leaves something to be desired. Her teaching style just isnt something i can connect with, and thus i have no real connection to the actual class. The reading material is at best mediocre; but it does have its moments. I just wish someone would go through both of our books, pick out the good parts, and make a small printout or something– so i wouldnt feel like most of this is just a waste of time.

However, like i said before, it does have its moments; and the teacher does have some interesting pull quotes/one liners that can stick out. Her most recent one is “what is trying to come to the surface” and this is in reference to our topic of Tattoos and body manipulation. We briefly talked about how Tattoos are a way to bring something within someone’s psyche out onto the surface of their body. How it is used as a signifier of what is there, and what has happened to the person.

It links somewhat to a way ive been feeling lately. I feel as if i’m missing some potential point; as if there is something rising up… something bubbling.. but just cant quite break through the surface of my skin. It is annoying really, feeling like i’m doing something to hold myself back– feeling like i’m just about to crest over the beach but only to fizzle out into a little pool of nothingness. Maybe it gets a little bit closer each time.. maybe.

I wonder what it could be a lot. I wonder if i’m just still scared of what is to become of me, scared of letting go completely. No doubt i still have a lot of fear in me, a lot of anger to be released. How, when, where… I know there is something inside dying to get out– good… bad… who knows; but there is a living entity inside me that is trying dilligently to bust out; to illustrate itself onto the surface of my body.

I think i want another tattoo- but what will it be.