Holidayz Blues
With each coming Holiday, i submit myself to the Holiday Blues. The time of year where depression and sadness rise. I’m finding more and more that the root of it deals with the family, and my personal “timeline”. Honestly, i feel like i’m behind. This unshakable feeling that i’m on the track of my destiny; but that i’m lagging behind somewhere. Like there’s been so much wasted time already, and i’m not moving fast enough. Its a feeling that gets really strong during the Holidays; as i come back into contact with some friends and family that have been on the sidelines; i see how far they have come; and how far i havent.
It all comes together as present buying comes into question. I’m definately not in such a place as to get my loved ones what i would really like to get them. As much as i subscribe to “its the thought that counts” the problem is the thought is there; but the fundage to get what i know would be awesome; isnt. Thats the saddest part for me; seeing my loved ones and feeling that they deserve so much more than i can really give them right now; How many years have they been watching me, knowing that i have such potential; but still just straying on the outside of it.
It makes me sad when i think about how much i feel i pull people down…