Transparent…
Fraud, Fake, Lies, Deceit…
he spins the web around him..
a web of darkness, a web of shadows and illusion.
Who does he protect…
locked within the shell of his outer self.
Inside the cocoon, warmed by the heat of his words.
Crying, pressing, screaming, yearning…
The inner self awakens, caught off guard..
Shields going down, energy waining.
What was the point…
hes lost, confused in a world he doesnt know
A world that doesnt know him…
What are the secrets worth protecting?
What are the lies that must be revealed…
Who is the child, awakening in the darkness…
What will the light reveal?
-will
I feel like such a fraud. I feel like i cling to the idea of “graphic design” like its some safety blanket that has kept me warm since infancy. In a way it has, it was my last desperate hope out of college… a glimpse of something that i may or may not be.
I wish i could draw, i compare myself to the “youth” of today; feeling inadequate, feeling like a slob. I feel as creative as a rock in the middle of a quary. How can i compete with such raw talent? Talent that only needs to be nurtured into something greater than what it can be.
I have a knack for spotting talent (i think) i see so much potential in people that its unbelievable (well i also see some lack of potential, but thats another story.) Its like i can catch a whif of the smell of success on people, and it makes me happy to be a part of that wonderful journey.
But where is my journey? I feel like i’ve always been a passenger watching life through the eyes of those around me. I’m a navigator, a confidant, a comrad. I’m the friend who cant bail you out of jail because i’m sitting there next to you. But in the end, it was all your idea… i’m just along for the ride.
Its hard for me to find fufillment in life; so much in me always wishes to put me down…
Mmn, thats enough for now.