Unwritten

http://croqaudile.com/index.php?article_id=8619

Japanese girls watching the ring.. heh ^_^

all taken from Catsonmars.com forums :-P

http://www.geocities.com/proxectolipe/southpark
http://www2.csc.ne.jp/~sunegirotin/junkpeez.html
http://img228.exs.cx/img228/875/kenny9kr.jpg

Easter has come and gone, do i feel any different?
I spent much of easter asleep; after coming home from the bay area roughtly at 1am. i talked on the phone for another hour or so, then simply passed out.

I woke up easter morning to take my meds, then slept till 2pm… feels like such a waste. My Easter celebration dinner, which was supposed to be another round of corned beef and cabbage, became a nice guacamole and bacon burger meal from Carls Jr.

….

An hour or so.. and a day later i finally get back to this post. I first thought i shoudl ditch it and start over, but eh. I havent feeling all that great lately, i feel rundown and tired; exaused.

I’m “offically” accepted into the Art Institute now. i’m hoping to begin classes in a couple of days (online courses). I thought i would be more excited; but right now i’m just so tired. Tired of so many things in my life.. hmm; no thats wrong; im just so tired BECAUSE of so many things going on in my life. I dont think i have the energy.

Words without action are just whispers against the wind of cowardess.

I have heard many words in my life, many promises made… thoughts taken, plans written out, hopes brought up. Ive seen many seemingly strong people make extraordinary speaches, preaching about change and the future.

Ive seen many of these words fail, actions falling silent as the ringing of their voices fade to nothingness. Hopes slowly fade, and trust begins to faulter.

Soon trust is gone, and hope is but another meaningless word.

No more… last chance is over.

I sit here on the “celebration” of our saviors death. Dying to save us from our sins.. i see the celebration to come in his resurrection. Today will also mark another day, the death of a word i hold dear.. “family” It will be burried silently, clothed in the finest linen and oils. I will mourn, remembering times past, memories shared, and love expressed. In three days it will be reborn, with new meaning and new hope.

At the end of the day, whether or not those people are comfortable with how you’re living your life doesn’t matter. What matters is whether you’re comfortable with it.-Phillip C. McGraw

Life is changing around me and i wonder what is happening in the world. I’ve always tried to be objective when it comes to approaching an issue. I try to see both sides of the argument and maybe find what the balance is. I know i have not always been successful; and i find that looking back i seem to lean more towards giving ground to an opposing argument. I have for a long time, lived my life in the eyes of those around me. I’ve bottled up many emotions and thoughts in fear that they might be revealed to those all knowing eyes of my friends and family.

I have spent over a year in therapy trying to rediscover those feelings. They had been bottled away so long that their labels were so worn and tattered that you couldnt tell what was in it on a mere glance. I had to pop the cork on every bottle and let it breathe… I had to make them all a part of me just to see what was there. Not all of it was bad; but not all of it was good either.

Still the ever present question arises; “Who am I?” Recently, as i lay at night coughing and praying to God to grant me a good nights sleep, i pondered what the heck was going on with me. This persistant cough which i call a blessing and a curse; The cough which i’ve considered “punishment” for the wrongs i have brought upon the earth. The cough which keeps me up late at night, gasping for breath and a moments peace.

I’ve considered my concept of God and my own life. Do i feel guilty of something? is that why i seem to wish upon myself divine punishment? Perhaps… I know that there are definate instances of where i have brought hurt on those i love… Especially the ones i love the most. I do wish upon myself some sort of divine retrubution, in hopes that it could wipe clean this dirty slate of mine and bring me the peace that i wish for.

But i know it will not happen. I know that much of the suffering is brought on by myself, and that the best course of action is to learn from my mistakes and try to be a better person because of it. I know that there is nothing i can do to force forgiveness from others; i know that the forgiveness must begin with me.

I know that there are many things i wish i could do, many pains that i wish i could lift off those i love. I also know that they but need ask and i will do what i can.

I know that i am but one man. A speck in the timeline of existance. I cannot heal the pains of the world in mass; but i can try… one person at a time. I know that my life is mine to live, and the prying eyes of those around me will pry no matter what paths i pick.

And i know, that in time all will be made clear.

The Deviant Geek You answered 85% of the questions as a geek truly would.

You’re a geek and you know it. You’ve got all sorts of fringe hobbies and socially unacceptable tendencies. Chances are, whenever possible, you hate to be grouped with other people and sometimes go out of your way just to be different. You’re smart too. You’re more willing to depend on your own brainpower to solve problems, instead of relying on others to pull you through life. You probably read a lot, and generally enjoy learning new things. So what’s it all mean? You may be considered by some to be uncool, but you probably don’t care either. In social situations you may be either slightly passive or slightly loud (geeks always fall into the extremes). In a nutshell, you answered enough questions correctly supporting a geek philosophy to be considered a more potent geek than 60% of the population.

I didnt score as high as i thought i would.. i guess i’m getting less “geek”

Here is another quiz thing.. its long. But it has its own form to fill out so you dont have to do that replace my answers with yours crap.

Its St. Patty’s day and i feel Shitty. I’m tired of being inbetween sickness and well. I’m stuck in the middle somewhere without a clear direction of where im going. One moment it feels like im getting better, the other i feel like i’m getting worse. Arg…

I had a very good post idea in my head while i was driving to work; but alas’ like the many other good ideas i’ve had it dissapeared in the wisper of a breeze. I was all hyped; i thought it might bet me a quote on the front page of RBJ! haha. Well whatever it is, maybe it will come back to me in time.

For now i’m still alive. Application process to Art institute seems to be going ok; i’m falling a little behind… but i’m finding time here and there to get things done. I’m thinking i need to find some time for myself. In all the hussle and bussle of all thats going on around me; i’m getting very edgy and frustrated with the little things of those around me. My patience is wearing thin, and its all seeping into my interactions with my friends. Maybe a little mini-vacay?

I have so many things i need to accomplish tho. I need to confirm my housing for next year, i need to finish remodeling/reflooring my bathrooms and kitchen. I need to cleanup and landscape the backyard. I need to find money for school, and start transfering property to the “storage room”

mmmn.. what to do.. what to do.

I need a massage.