Homecoming…

Once again its just about time to go home. Tomorrow is the last day of the season and i get some time off to drive back home and visit the family. I can say thats its totally mixed feeling. I really wanna get out of here; but at the same time i know im not really in much of a christmas Mood.

Sad to say, its all about the cash.. the green. I dont have much.. and this year i have even less of it. I cant afford to get the people i care about the things i wanna get them, and its dissapointing. Really, any other year i’d plunge even more into debt to try to get what i feel my loved ones deserve; but this year i’m too much aware of my own future and futility. I need to take more control; i need to face the beast that i really want to get away from.. Money.

I’ve never really liked “money” its caused so many problems in my family growing up that i never aquired the same taste for it that some other family members have. I cant see myself “hording” cash for a rainy day. I just want to spend whatever i have and share it with those around me. But the carefree days have been gone, and its catching up with me. Haha..

So this year i really have nothing to give. and its sad; because i feel that the ones i love deserve the world on a platter.