Awakie
Man, What the fuck is wrong with me x.x im awake. Its 4:00 in the morn. I woke up about 2 hours ago. I fell asleep around 10ish? My whole sleeping schedule is all fucked up lately. I sleep the same time most nights and wake up at random times. I wake up at 6, 630, 7, 4.. whatever x.x Ugh.
So as usual, the silence of the dead of night forces me to deal with the deamons in my head. Its lonely here in the dead of night, and i feel the usual longings for more. More that what i have, more than what i am.
Unfortunately it all seems to boil down to the bain of my existance. The thing i hate the most and yet are forced to “love” Money. Cash, moola, scrilla, clams, bones.. money makes the world go round, and I have very little.
I find that when i have money, it flows quickly. I feel like i try to get it out of my hands as fast as it can. I dispise the feeling of hording the money, i dispise the people i see who are so fuckin cheep that they make excuses up in their head so that they can save a buck on “gifts” for people. (come on.. buying shit for people just cuz its cheep? since really.. its the thought that counts; the little thought put into a gift is really reflected..)
For me, some people say im too nice. I spend a lot of money i dont have on friends. I make a lot of “Loans” that never get paid back. Really.. do i regret it? No.. i feel that the fact that some people have never paid back what they promised is more a reflection of themselves than of me.
Hmm.. lost my train of thought.. or maybe its really that simple.