Free Will Astrology : Leo Horoscope

“In the film, Angels in America, the character named Belize describes his vision of heaven. It’s not a spotlessly clean gated community where everyone wears white gowns and nothing ever changes. Rather, it’s a ‘big city, overgrown with weeds, but flowering weeds. On every corner a wrecking crew, and something new and crooked going up catty-cornered to that. Gusts of gritty wind, and a gray, high sky alive with ravens. Piles of trash, but lapidary like rubies and obsidian. Diamond-colored streamers. Voting booths. Dance palaces full of music and lights and racial impurity and gender confusion. All the deities are creole, mulatto, brown as the mouths of rivers.’ While that’s not necessarily how I envision my ideal home, I love its implication that we should imagine paradise to be mysterious, intriguing, and in flux. Let Belize inspire you to be soulful and poetic, Leo, as you update your own vision of perfection-your conception of the good life.”

The good life; What really is perfection? For the most part i have scoffed at the traditional idea of perfection. I remember my aunt’s house always looking so ‘perfect” that we could never really play inside of it. We would have to hide out in the other rooms, away from the seeing eyes of guests. Her house felt like a museum, and i was always afraid of ruining the careful placement of any object.

i liked my hosue much better, and i find so much more beauty in the lack of perfection. Each person’s oddities, each person’s unique personality traits; there is where the beauty lies. The mysteriousness of their eyes, the funny way they laugh; even the way they throw a temper tantrum or the way they cry; there is so much more beauty in appreciating all these little “flaws”

Damn, but no matter how much i can say these words and believe them; its still a hard road to stick to. So much influence on me has pushed me to find “perfection” so many things have illustrated that i’m just not good enough, im not strong enough, im just not smart enough. I find myself seeking the perfection of life, not because i want it; but because i dont want to dissapoint those around me.. and to just shut them the fuck up. Sometimes i seek the perfection of someone else’s vision just to spite them, to show them that *I* could do it while they could not… Not exactly the best of reasons is it?

Life continues to be a struggle; to life the life that i believe in my heart but dont practice in my head.

Im such a hypocrite sometimes…