The Yearning…

I have a yearning i haven’t felt in a while. Well more like a yearning i have not been able to quell. i thirst for it, i hunger for it… I fool myself into trying to find it, to seek where it really is not. I poke my head into the darkest of corners, and the brightest field to search.. and yet it is not there.

Love.

Where might it be? The love i feel from my friends, from my companions and family; its not enough. Sometimes i wish it was, and yet i all to well know that there is something missing. I know that i must continue without it, a bountiful soul seeking that which will take it to the next higher plane. A plane much higher than the firm ground i’m standing on now, a plane that i have fallen from before.

So the advice given, “stop looking and love will find you.” Its difficult at best. how does one so tuned into the innane ramblings of his heart, or the whispers of his mind just “tune them out” How can one go on and pretend that his life feels complete and smile knowing that there are still missing pieces.

I throw myself into my work; my sleep. I continue to work my mind, doing my best to avoid the topics and fill my heart with other joys.

But for certain months, i must rest. I cannot contain the pure emotion that continues to boil from my soul, seeking containers to fill and mix with. I must let my guard down for moments, letting the pain and sorrow wash over me, covering me with the darkness and sadness within.

This is one of those months.

“If I could find you now things would get better
We could leave this town and run forever
I know somewhere, somehow we’ll be together
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away”