Moody
I think ive been moodly lately. Yeah.
Mantha told me a couple days ago..”btw, you are in an odd mood lately” and i didnt really understand; but i think i do now. I feel weird… I get like this sometimes; my head swims while i try to figure out the path that i’m walking on. I think yesterday was a good highlight of my current mindset. I was making a sign and i kept staring at the word “STOP” why? because even tho i knew that i spelled it right, i just couldnt help but stare and think it was spelled wrong. Paranoid? or what, i dont know, either way i was secondguessing myself on something that was so obviously correct.
So what else am i second guessing myself on? I think i’m doubting some of the decisions i’ve made and i just need to get through and build myself up… Its like i used to do with my legos. I spent so much time building something… that i just had to take it apart and do it all over again; and while i was doing it i always found some little things to improve on; However, i would have never found those things without taking all the pieces apart and risking losing it. And really, i did lose what i built; it was never the same again… it was better.
so right now its a dismantling stage of my life; i think its been going on for a while; and i’m finding some pieces that fit better, and other pieces that i no longer need.