What do YOU see?
“its funny cause after all this time..you have remined the same friendly, generous and geniune person since the very first time i met you”
Christina was commenting on our lunch the other day when she told me those words. It struck me a little dumbfounded; It was a nice complement; and it was nice to hear :) but a good part of me found it hard to believe. Especially with the events of the past few months have shown me just how untrue i’ve been to myself? Am i just being to hard on myself? beating myself over the head because of the mistakes i’ve made. I hate making mistakes; It truely makes me sick to my stomach to think of the stupidity that has occured in my life; all the dumb things i’ve done; or failed to do.
Am i truely that way? even tho thoughts play in my head of the evils of my ways; of tall the things i could have/should have done. Am i really that generous… and friendly? or am i the clone of the person i dispise so much and refuse to be like. Do i just successfully put on this show of peace and tranqility and concern towards people; who get caught in my little trap only to be disspointed when they get to know the “real” me.
I hope that i really am what she saw in me over lunch. I hope that all the mistakes i’ve made have taught me how i wish to live my life today. I hope that more people will see it in me; and will continue to see it even after time has shown them more of whats below the surface.