Maturity and Stupidity…
Why must i struggle to try to be the bigger person? Sometimes people piss me off so much that i just want to sink down to their level and give them what i feel they deserve. Why? becuase i’m so fucking better at it then they can possibly imagine. Hahahaha. God damn i can be evil, I have all the thoughts, resources, and ability to do it; but that damn conscious always gets in the way :-D haha. I’m actually waiting for someone to push me over the line again… but the line has moved so much as i “mature”
Is that really maturity? knowing that I can be so petty, so devious and evil and just plain rotten; but choosing not to? Being able to see things and people for the childish ways that they are; and learning to see beyond it to a bigger picture? Ah.. i wonder how i can keep my cool nowadays; so much immaturity; so much stupidity around me that it feels like its all some sort of test. Haha :)
Grr.. but sometimes; the feeling; the desire to just get my hands dirty and rumble is very strong. Some people are lucky that i can restrain myself… :) (especially since i’ll be in Irvine tomorrow…)