Idiot Tolerance Levels…

Urge to kill rising… :D

I wonder if its a sign of rising maturity… of getting older; or what? I find that my tolerance for movies with idiot main characters. Gya! if people were really this stupid and pathetic in real life… I would be frustrated out of my mind!

What brought this on? 2 recent movies; which in themselves are not BAD but ugh. I’m speaking of School of Rock and Kangaroo Jack. I felt myself getting more frustrated with the actions of the idiot character than i was laughing along with the comedy. Bleh, what happened to me? or what happened to the movies? is it because in my many years now, with all my idiot hijinks; that the “lucky” things never happened to me? Bitterness? haha.. maybe. I just cant find idiots so inconsiderate.. so self centered and immature who just happend to do something lucky; or who’s selfish actions land him in such trouble; then he magically gets himself out.. funny. So what if your selfish actions accidentally did something good? big deal… it was still an accident right? And the problems would have never happened in the first place if you just took a moment to think.. right?

Ah… yeah; but deep down i think i’m just jeaolus. I truely wish i could act idiotic and just have lucky things happen to me. I wish i had the guts in me to throw it all into the air and hope for the best. I wish that i could just get that one lucky break. As it as, i see that in life; i’m just barely scraping by. Maybe a little bit better off; but just enough to keep me from being desperate. I hate feeling stuck… feeling too comfortable that i dont want to take a risk on something i really want; or even something i just THINK i want. I hate sitting here and feeling as if i should be somewhere else; doing something else.

But something along the path of life “taught” me that i need a PLAN.. i need focus.. i need a destination before i could go anywhere. I had to map everything out so precisely as to take all the chances out of it. Logically; it makes complete sense… but its my natural tendancy to battle against the common logic that begins my daily battles.

Ah.. to take an idea off a recent movie… I’m living the life of an alter ego; a costume of what i think society calls of me, of what i believe they see in me and what they want from me. But Inside; i was born something else.. i was born to be something else.. and i cannot change that… and i cannot hide in my costume forever. I’ve gotten where i am against the logic of the world. I’ve done things without perfection, without training, and without a plan… and they have turned out better than i could have imagined..

I strive to take the risks.. strive to live life illogically; and try to trust in my senses. I strive to make my dreams into a reality.