Whoopiedo. she did it.

So she did it, my former best friend/ex got engaged.. officially. Finally.
Woo.. whatever. A year ago i probably would have been ecstatic.. overjoyed even. But shes put it off for so long that i just dont really care anymore. I could care less what she does. I’m actually feeling sorry and angry for her fiance, especially considering how she treated me.. and what she said to me not 5 months go. She told me “i always thought you and i would end up together” and “i broke up with XXX 3 months ago.. in my head..” such a fake.. such a liar she is.

Its not like they weren’t engaged before.. he asked her before; but she found some excuse to criticize him, and the way he tried. I heard countless times about how he tried.. and how upset she was. I cant believe i was on her side then. Such a self centered scared little girl she is.

I’m actually angry tho. Angry that her supposed “best friend” i was the last to know about it. Haha.. not that shes my best friend anymore; but she claims to hold me in such high regards.. BULL SHIT. its all bull shit. I’m so angry… i dont know if its because i thought i would be “first” like it was a contest to see who gets engaged.. or that i’m still upset because of all she did to break me and my Ex. Had she gotten engaged before.. when he proposed the first time. All that would have never happened. I would have had my own mind and my own will with my Ex. not to say that we would still be together, but at least i would have made MY OWN mistakes.. and lived MY own life. I hate how manipulated i was.. how gullible i was.

so now shes engaged.. and i could care less. I was already thinking up excuses as to how not to participate.. how not to be more than an attendee at the wedding. Maybe i’m still full of myself, thinking she even wants me to do anything. I dont know. Really, right now i wish i could focus on my self.. starting my own family; and leaving all the drama of my past somewhere behind me.