Unwritten

Already this journal is more open than my “normal” blog. I think the lack of people who read it, or even know of its existence is a key point in there. nobody i see face to face on a daily basis has found it, so i’m remain unafraid.

Im so fuckin moody today. Tired and exhausted both physically and emotionally. I trace my moodiness to crossroads in my life. This crossroad: I feel some of my dreams slipping away and i’ve come to another point where i must decide to let it go, or consciously fix my grip and hold on for dear life.

I’m gonna hold on; and the decision is exhausting as well as taxing on my reserve energy. I choose my dreams, i refuse to let this one slip away so easily.

But now, thats not the only fantasy in my life. how i feel about her is already set, its a known fact of my life today. What remains unknown is what will become of that dream. Along side that is you..

I like you, do you even know it? I dont know exactly why; but its an exciting and draining feeling to be ‘crushin’ I really have no good solid reasons why, but what does it matter; I was captivated the moment i first looked into your eyes. So full of life and hidden mystery… I long to get lost in the deep sea of your eyes.

Ha, will i ever say anything? not anytime soon. Life situations have fated that nothing could really happen in the near future. Do i want to speak up? Acutally yes; but maybe i’m just afraid.. or unprepared for the repercussions of those words. I’m not ready to hurt, or be hurt… at least not in this situation.

So i’ll continue to dream a little, and keep everything as it is right now. A little ray of sunshine on a sometimes dreary day. Things are good as they are :)