Unwritten

I wish i was free, I long to be free of the worries; the disappointments; the frustrations of my life. I wish i could really not care what people thought, I wish i could just do what i feel and not worry about he consequences. I wish i couldn’t read people as well as I can, that i could distance myself from the world and take the weight off my shoulders. I wish i could relax, have fun and not be so concerned with the people around me.

I wish… I wish i could be in love. Not the way i am now; so one way… so alone and longing and dreaming. I wish i could live in the love of my dreams, i could share the happiness i could could happen and is waiting for me. I wish i couldnt sense what i feel to be true, and yet still not know why there are so many roadblocks.

I wish when i looked at the forest of my life, i could see the trees; and the ground and the animals; instead of the castle off in the distance. I wish i could stop worrying, and living more. I wish i wasnt so emotional, attached to the happiness of those whom i care about; I wish i wasnt so self sacrifical– denying the right to exist in the world for the sake of others.

I wish; that for once the things that i want came easily; instead of dragging me through the dirt and grime for just a fraction of my dreams.

I wish i could love you… and hold you in my arms and know that everything was going to be ok. I wish i could sleep next to you, dreaming of the future of our life together. I wish to listen to the sounds of our life, not wondering about the voices that are forever silent.

I didnt mention yesterday.
I bowled.. bleh.. not so good! haha..
My teamates were unable to make it, since they have midterms; all those things i dont have to worry about anymore.

But i did bowl at least 2 strikes in 3/4 games :)

I almost got a turkey! :P

Ssss-aaaa-ffff-eeee-tttt-yyyy
Safety-dance!

Ah we can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance
Well they’re are no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to, a place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind,
And we can dance

We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance
Well they’re are no friends of mine
I say, we can go where we want to a place where they will never find
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Leave the real one far behind
And we can dance.

Francois!

Ah we can go when we want to the night is young and so am i
And we can dress real neat from our hats to our feet
And surprise ’em with the victory cry

I say we can act if want to if we don’t nobody will
And you can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile
I say we can dance, we can dance everything out control
We can dance, we can dance we’re doing it wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance everybody takin’ the chance
Safety dance
Oh well the safety dance
Ah yes the safety dance

Ssss-aaaa-ffff-eeee-tttt-yyyy
Safety-dance

We can dance if we want to, we’ve got all your life and mine
As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything’ll work out right
I say, we can dance if we want to we can leave your friends behind
Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance
Well they’re are no friends of mine
I say we can dance, we can dance everything out control
We can dance, we can dance we’re doing it wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance everybody’s takin’ the chance
Oh well the safety dance
Ah yes the safety dance
Oh well the safety dance
Oh well the safety dance
Oh yes the safety dance
Oh the safety dance yeah
Oh it’s the safety dance
It’s the safety dance
Well it’s the safety dance
Oh it’s the safety dance
Oh it’s the safety dance
Oh it’s the safety dance
Oh it’s the safety dance

Live In My House
I’ll Be Your Shelter…

Shelter.. protection from the elements, the world outside. I am true to my name, a determined guardian. I find that the more i open myself to the world around me, the more i can and do get hurt. The more people i allow access to my heart, the more i want to shelter them from the harshness of the world. Its my purpose, one of the things that bring me to life, and suck it away from me.

Maybe i care too much? Many people who have taken permanent residence in the neighborhood of my heart dont even know it. They’ve acquired a winged deamon guardian who battles from the shadows. A Deamon that remains hidden, striking without a word or a sound.

And yet the Deamon is flawed… I wish many things, I wish i could be there always for everyone… I wish i could be “the hero” that saves the day. I wish i could protect them from everything, and let them lead a peaceful happy life.

But it has been said that “some of the foulest, evilest of deeds have been done with the best of intentions…”

And i have my own creatures to deal with.

Hmm.. talking to Suki made me remember once again one my my major “flaws” I’m definitely not a middle of the fence kinda person; i have to either be one side or the other… black or white.

This is strange because I can see the grey areas, and i accept it in everyone else but me. I have problems trying to balance out my life. I tend to overcompensate, and end up on the other extreme. I then bounce back, trying to fight the new side, and end up way on the other side. I’m like a pendulum, i swing back and forth, back and forth; never really spending any time on the middle– only passing through.

Its an annoying way to live.